


Birds + Bees

by violetvaria



Series: Stable AU [18]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Awkwardness, Embarrassment, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Jack and Diane are engaged, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Stable AU, dad!Jack, some physical affection but not as much as usual, teen!Mac
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:23:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22207288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetvaria/pseuds/violetvaria
Summary: Mac is afraid Katie is about to break up with him and turns to his dad for advice. Unfortunately, Jack misinterprets and thinks Mac overheard Jack and Diane the previous night. Miscommunication and extremely awkward conversations ensue.Chapter 2 added: A "backstage" interlude on the day of Jack and Diane's wedding. Jack and Mac discuss relationships, family, and dancing.~~~set in dickgrysvn's Stablehands + Stable Homes AU and alongside slightly_ajar's Stable AU
Relationships: Jack Dalton & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016), Jack Dalton/Diane Davis (MacGyver TV 2016), Mac/Katie
Series: Stable AU [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1270502
Comments: 43
Kudos: 30
Collections: Stable_AU





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [impossiblepluto](https://archiveofourown.org/users/impossiblepluto/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Stablehands + Stable Homes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17294171) by [dickgrysvn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dickgrysvn/pseuds/dickgrysvn). 

> With thanks, as always, to the extraordinary dickgrysvn for creating and sharing this wonderful AU! Reading [**Stablehands + Stable Homes**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17294171) is necessary before anything else in this universe. Thanks also to the brilliant slightly_ajar for being my Stableverse buddy!
> 
> I want to make it clear that this extremely awkward story is NOT MY FAULT. I am totally blaming the exquisite and marvelous impossiblepluto for commenting on "Heir + Spare" and making this suggestion: "Or maybe Mac tries to casually bring it up, because even though he's figured things out, he's got a few questions, except that Jack and Diane just started getting kind of hot and heavy, so Jack thinks Mac saw/heard something and they're having two different awkward conversations?"  
(Hugs and kisses to impossiblepluto and apologies all around for the secondhand embarrassment that is likely to occur as you read.) 😉
> 
> WARNINGS: referenced sexual activity between consenting adults; references to minors kissing; references to the possibility of sexual activity between minors; lots of embarrassment and awkwardness

“Jack?” Mac strove to keep his voice calm, casual. All he needed was for his dad to go all _Jack_ on him.

He must have succeeded. “Yeah, kiddo?” Jack didn’t turn from where he was grating cheese on the top of their stuffed chicken breasts.

Although Mac had been psyching himself up for this conversation for hours, he still hesitated. “Can I ask you a question?”

Busy squatting to look at the dish at eye level to make sure the cheese was spread evenly, Jack didn’t bother teasing Mac about his dithering. “Uh-huh,” he replied distractedly.

This was as good a time as any. Mac took a deep breath. “Uh, how—I mean—um, how do—do you know—” He took another breath as Jack deposited the pan in the oven. “How do you know if a girl is—you know—enjoying it? For real, I mean?”

Mac could see the exact moment his question computed. His dad turned as red as the peppers he’d added to their roasted vegetables, and he began spluttering.

Mac could feel himself blushing too. This was already worse than when Jack had not-so-subtly slipped a box of condoms onto his dresser with a little sticky note on top that said, “Be safe and responsible!” It was completed with a widely smiling happy face that for some reason disturbed Mac even more than the rest of the note.

It wasn’t as though Mac felt ready to go that far with Ka—with anyone yet, but when he’d kissed Katie goodbye last night when he dropped her off, she’d hummed a little. He thought that was a good response, but she seemed distant as she went inside, and he’d worried about it the whole way home. Maybe he’d done something wrong. Maybe that wasn’t a sound of pleasure but one of—disappointment? Boredom? Irritation?

After a day of stressing and not hearing from Katie at all, he’d decided to bite the bullet and ask Jack. His dad never seemed to have any problem talking about anything, even offering some very-much-unwanted advice on French kissing.

So why was Jack acting like he was in the middle of a seizure or something?

_Okay, get a grip, Dalton_. Jack tried to breathe deeply, slowing his pounding heart. _Yeah, me and Diane were a little loud last night. But—_

Whatever he’d been about to tell himself in reassurance fizzled away as his brain short-circuited, fixated on the fact that his teenage son was _asking about his sex life_.

“Well,” he tried to start, but no words materialized after that. “Well,” he started again, giving himself a second chance, but again, his mouth refused to cooperate and produce any other words.

Ears burning hot, Mac twitched one shoulder. He didn’t want to admit that he wasn’t sure how to know that he was making Katie happy. “N—never mind. Um, I just—um—” He waved a hand in a completely meaningless gesture and turned to get out of the kitchen as fast as he could.

“No.” Jack took a step forward. “No, son, it’s—it’s okay.” He scrubbed one hand over his face. “I mean, we should talk about it.” Jack really, really wished he’d read more parenting manuals back when he’d first adopted Mac. Of course, he wasn’t sure any of them had a chapter on what to say when one’s teenage son heard his dad and his dad’s fiancée engaging in…_amorous activities_. And had apparently decided that those sounds might not be genuine.

Jack felt just a shade insulted. Diane had no need to _fake it_, thank you very much.

Mac had stopped at the doorway, looking at Jack out of the corner of his eye both expectantly and anxiously.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Jack said finally.

Mac’s face fell. Had Jack seen this coming? Had he expected that Katie was going to dump him?

“It’s—it’s not your fault, Jack,” Mac mumbled miserably.

Jack shook his head. “Well, I could’ve, uh, warned you or somethin’.” Jack wondered if he needed to soundproof the master bedroom before the wedding. If he thought it was bad that Mac had heard them…Jack paled at the notion of Riley listening from the room down the hall that would be hers.

Mac’s shoulders slumped. So it had been obvious to everyone. He shouldn’t be surprised. Katie was smart and cool and sweet and fun and outgoing and talented. She could have her pick of boyfriends. She had probably realized she could do better than Mac, and she was just trying to find the best way to tell him. _I guess silence sends a pretty clear message._

“I’m sorry, kid, but…” Jack blew out a breath. “These things are gonna happen sometimes.” But not ever again if Jack could help it. Why wasn’t Mac saying something? It was freaking Jack out even more. Exactly how much had the teen overheard?

“Yeah.” Mac gave a shaky attempt at a smile. “It’s—just part of life, right?”

“Right, right,” Jack agreed quickly, running a hand through his short hair. “Not—not something to not take seriously, but—you know. Natural.” Jack cringed at his own words. How was the silver-tongued Jack Dalton fumbling this so badly?

Mac winced. Knowing it was normal didn’t make it hurt less. “How—how many times—” He wasn’t sure how to complete the question. How many times did the average person get dumped? How many times had Jack been dumped? Mac was afraid that answer might be zero, which would make him feel even worse.

Jack barely managed to stifle a groan. What was _with_ the kid tonight? Was he seriously asking how often his dad and his soon-to-be stepmom—

“Don’t ask that, buddy,” Jack said, just a bit more harshly than he meant to.

Mac bit his lip. That was bad.

“So…a lot?” he ventured. If Mac thought being dumped once was bad, he couldn’t imagine it happening repeatedly. Maybe he should become a hermit.

_A lot? _Jack wondered if faking a heart attack would get him out of this conversation. He cast a longing look back at the chicken breasts, wishing he’d let Mac have his way and “improve” the oven, which would increase the odds of it catching on fire. Jack could use a good fire right now.

Seriously, what was he supposed to say to that? Jack didn’t think he and Diane were together that often right now because their schedules didn’t always sync up. Yesterday evening had been a rare and welcome opportunity, and Jack had thought Mac wouldn’t be home from his date with Katie until later. But after the wedding, when Diane and Riley moved in, and the newlyweds got back from their honeymoon…

“Hey, kid, you want one of those purple-noise machines?” Jack offered desperately. “You can—you know. Use it at night.” He pretended to be checking on their dinner, eager to avoid his son’s gaze.

“A white-noise machine?” Mac corrected incredulously. What—? Oh. Mac slumped. He should have known that Jack would take one look at him and somehow know that he hadn’t slept well last night. He’d been too busy running scenarios in his head, trying to pinpoint what exactly he’d done wrong with Katie. He wasn’t sure a white-noise machine would be as relaxing as Jack seemed to think, but it was a nice gesture.

“I’ll be okay, Jack,” he sighed. “Thanks, though.”

Jack reached for the pan, hissed, and retrieved the forgotten oven mitt. “You sure?” Jack wasn’t positive, but he thought if a room was soundproofed to not let any noise _out_, that also meant no sounds could get _in_, and he wasn’t willing to cut himself off from his son or his soon-to-be daughter. That meant he and Diane needed another solution, and fast.

Mac fetched two plates and poured two glasses of water from the pitcher in the fridge. Jack was always thinking about ways to make his son feel better. Maybe Mac hadn’t been thoughtful enough with Katie. Hadn’t anticipated her needs enough. That was probably it. He felt selfish. He’d just been focused on how good she made him feel…

Both Daltons were frowning in silence as they sat at the table. Mac sawed at his chicken, shredding it into smaller and smaller pieces as he thought. Could he win Katie back with some grand romantic gesture like they had on those movies Jack claimed Diane had chosen for family movie nights? Mac wasn’t great with romantic gestures, but maybe that’s what Katie wanted.

Jack was too busy concentrating on their options to remind his son to eat his food instead of torturing it. He and Diane weren’t taking a long honeymoon—Jack couldn’t be away from the stable that long, and his momma couldn’t stay with the kids forever. But if it was hard to find times when Mac was out of the house for a guaranteed length of time, how much harder would it be when there was both Mac _and_ Riley to worry about? Plus, apparently Mac had gotten home earlier than anticipated last night. It wasn’t like Jack could forbid the teens from returning until a particular time in some sort of reverse curfew. This was their home, and they needed to know they were always safe and welcome here.

Which wouldn’t happen if they were tiptoeing around in fear of overhearing their parents—

Jack wondered if Diane would be open to spending more time at the stable. Hay was comfortable enough, and there was always the couch in the office…

Or maybe he and Diane just needed to be quieter.

“You know, it doesn’t have to be loud,” Jack announced abruptly into the silence.

Mac looked up, brow furrowing. What in the world did _that_ mean?

“Quiet is good too. Doesn’t—doesn’t make it any less, um, meaningful.” Jack looked away again, not wanting Mac to somehow see the images flashing through his mind of Diane, flushed and quirking that sweet, slow, unbearably sexy smile, smoky eyes looking up at him through those long lashes, her hair splayed around her on the pillow…

Mac was considering his dad’s words. Was Jack saying that grand romantic gestures weren’t necessary? That something smaller and more personal would be just as good? That would be better for Mac—he felt more equipped to do something like that—but would it be enough?

“Do you think…” Mac hesitated. “Will that be enough?”

Jack nearly choked on a roasted potato. Sure, he might’ve bragged about his sexual appetite from his younger years, but he didn’t think he’d done it _that_ much. Just enough to tease his son. And while he found Diane incredibly attractive, he wasn’t as young as he used to be, not nearly as insatiable. If he and his new wife ever wanted to be more adventurous, they were fully capable of waiting until they could be sure the kids were gone. Hm. Maybe Jack needed to think about changing his lessons at the stable so he had some free time during the school day.

“It’ll be fine, buddy,” he managed after draining his glass of water and getting up to pour another. “It’ll—it’ll work.”

That was encouraging, at least. His dad thought Mac might still be able to win Katie back. Mac began to feel a little better now that he had a clearer goal. He just had to think of something intimate and personal, something that would show Katie that he paid attention to her and valued her.

For several minutes, the only sounds in the room were the clink of silverware and chewing. Jack was brooding on how he was going to break it to Diane that they needed to be even _more_ careful around the kids. Mac was carefully considering and rejecting various plans to impress Katie.

“Jack?” he finally began hesitantly. “Is it good—” He paused, trying to articulate his vague idea of hiding little trinkets that would remind Katie of all the fun they’d had together. Maybe Sara would let him stash a couple at the diner.

_Oh, that is goin’ too far._ Jack couldn’t take it anymore. He grabbed his napkin and tossed it onto the table, standing and snatching up his nearly empty plate. “Eat your food,” he barked, noticing Mac had barely made a dent in his dinner. “No more questions.”

Mac shrank back a little and quickly forked some chicken into his mouth. Of course. This was something he had to figure out for himself in order to be worthy of Katie’s affection. “Sorry,” he mumbled between bites.

Jack sighed, scraping his plate and putting it in the sink to deal with later. “No, I’m sorry, son,” he admitted, walking back to the table and dropping a hand on Mac’s shoulder. “I shouldn’ta snapped. Just…let’s maybe talk about other stuff for a while, all right?”

Mac nodded, but neither was particularly inclined to speak, so Jack eventually patted his son’s shoulder again and took himself to his bedroom to call Diane. Quietly. With the faucet in his bathroom running. Just to be safe.

Diane was embarrassed, but she was so relieved it hadn’t been Riley who had overheard them that she wasn’t, in Jack’s opinion, able to properly sympathize. She vetoed the barn idea but said she was open to trying to organize their schedules to have some free time during the school day. She refused to offer any advice for dealing with the fallout with Mac, claiming she’d already had “the talk” with Riley and that was enough for her.

“Just you wait ‘till she starts askin’ if it’s good for you,” Jack sniped. “See if I help you then.”

She just laughed. “Like you would have anyway.”

Jack had to concede the point.

After abandoning the remaining three-quarters of his dinner, Mac wandered down to his lab, searching for inspiration. He couldn’t just buy Katie a bunch of flowers or something like that. She deserved better than a cliché. She deserved something special, something designed with her in mind. Something that was the right mix of whimsical and practical, of romantic and respectful, of intimate and surprising. He tried to remember what she’d been talking about recently and cursed himself when nothing immediately sprang to his wildly whirling mind. Of course she was going to dump him if he couldn’t even listen well enough to recall what she said.

Maybe it was a lost cause anyway. Maybe Mac was destined to be alone his whole life, and he shouldn’t even hope for anything else.

His phone chimed.

_Sorry, phone was off all day. The meet was crazy! What’s up?_

Mac stared incredulously at the words. He felt a little of his stress melting away, and he remembered now. Katie had had a speech competition today. She said Mac didn’t need to come because it was a three-hour drive both ways, and she would only be speaking for five minutes. He’d wished her luck last night right before—right before he kissed her.

Cautiously, he replied, _How did it go?_

Within seconds, he had a reply. _Great! Good enough for state finals!_

Mac began smiling. _Finals? Wow! Congratulations!_ After sending, he thought about it and quickly added, _Not that I’m surprised._

Katie sent back a blushing smiley face, followed by a heart. _Thanks. Sorry I was so weird last night. Just nervous, you know?_

Mac nearly collapsed in relief. He sent her an enormous grin. _No worries. I knew you were thinking about today._

_Anyway, Aunt Sara is driving me back home now. How was your day?_

Mac sank into a chair, a slight smile tugging at his lips, as he began to chat with his girlfriend.

Jack was finally starting to relax the longer he spoke with Diane, eventually able to look at the bright side.

“You know, at least the kid didn’t walk in on us,” he offered.

Diane hummed in agreement, wisely refraining from pointing out that if Mac could hear his dad and almost-stepmom through the bedroom door, he would have hardly opened it. He was a teenager, and an exceptionally bright one at that. He would have no trouble interpreting the sounds from inside the room.

“And in some ways, it’s sorta good, right?”

Diane thought that was overstating it, but she was curious how Jack was spinning this into something positive. “Oh?”

“Well, it’s good for kids to know their parents love each other. Think I read somethin’ about that, anyway. I mean, sure, they were talkin’ about not bein’ embarrassed to kiss in front of the little tykes, but—”

Diane burst out laughing, picturing Mac’s face if she and Jack kissed in front of him now, and the way his imagination might start to run rampant. When she shared this with Jack, he laughed and groaned simultaneously.

“Don’t think he’ll tell Ri, do you?” he asked anxiously.

Both teens already pretended to be grossed out when their parents kissed. Okay, for all Jack knew, maybe it wasn’t an act. If Jack thought dinner this evening with Mac had been awkward, he certainly didn’t want to face Riley.

He could almost hear Diane’s eyebrows raise. “You really think he’ll talk about this to anyone?”

“Oh.” Jack rolled his head to ease some of the tension in his neck and shoulders. “Good point.” He thought for a second. “Probably Dr. Amanda.” That was embarrassing too, but Jack figured Mac’s therapist had heard worse things.

Diane giggled. “Do you think we’ve scarred him for life?”

For a moment, Jack panicked, but then reason asserted itself, and he chuckled too. “Nah, he’ll be okay. Probably not even the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever put him through.” Encouraged by Diane’s laughter, he continued, “I ever tell you about when he had his wisdom teeth out?”

Jack sat on the bed and relaxed against the headboard, happily swapping stories with his fiancée.

When Mac heard Jack calling for him, he realized how much time had passed. He and Katie had been engrossed in their conversation, and he hadn’t realized how late it was. Fortunately, Katie was almost home, so she made the first overture to sign off, and Mac carefully congratulated her again and promised to see her tomorrow to hear more details in person. Maybe his imagination had gotten the better of him and Katie had never been upset, but it was still a good reminder not to take her for granted.

“Hey, kiddo.” Jack looked his son over critically as he emerged from his basement lair. Mac appeared much calmer and more at ease than he had earlier, so maybe he had decided to pretend the whole Jack-and-Diane thing had never happened. That was more than fine with Jack. “Gettin’ late.”

“Yeah, sorry.” Mac’s eyes flicked up to his dad. Jack had clearly been worried about Mac earlier, and he wanted to assure his dad that things were okay. “Just chatting with Katie.”

“Yeah? That’s nice.” Now that he’d located his son, Jack was ready to hit the hay. It was past his bedtime. Mac’s too, although the teen would inform him that he didn’t have a bedtime, which was technically true. Jack just needed to make sure his son knew one thing first. “You know I love havin’ you home anytime, right?”

Mac cocked his head, thinking about that. Jack was apparently reassuring him that if he were no longer going out with Katie, he was welcome to stay home instead. Mac nearly rolled his eyes. Of _course_ his dad wanted to have him home more. “I know, Jack.”

The knots of pressure in Jack’s shoulders unwound. “Good. You tired?”

He was, actually. Mac knew that stress sapped energy, and he’d been on edge all day. But first, he needed to tell Jack…

“Want a snack?” Mac suggested, already heading for the kitchen. He knew his dad would follow.

Jack was thrilled to see Mac’s appetite return. He hadn’t eaten much dinner, even after Jack had badgered him, so a bedtime snack would be perfect. “I’ll make you grilled cheese.”

Mac looked amused. “That’s not really a snack.”

“It is if you’re eatin’ it at snack time.”

Mac blinked, trying to find fault with that logic, but Jack had already dug the cheese out of the refrigerator, and he gave up.

“Katie had a speech competition today,” he offered, grabbing a couple plates. “I—I knew that, but I just…forgot.”

Jack hummed, and Mac hurried on.

“But I’ll see her tomorrow and hear all about it. And—I’ll really listen to her, Jack. I know it’s important.”

Jack froze, spatula in midair. Was the kid insinuating that Jack didn’t listen to Diane enough? Didn’t consider her needs?

“I won’t take her for granted,” Mac promised fervently.

Jack frowned down at the sandwiches he was making as he thought. It kind of sounded like Mac was feeling better about what had happened last night. Maybe he realized how much his dad loved Diane, and he was saying that it was important to celebrate what they had. At least the kid wasn’t blushing and stammering anymore, so Jack decided to see this as a win.

“That…sounds good, son,” Jack agreed as heartily as he could manage.

Mac let out a sigh of relief. So Jack thought that would be enough to maintain his relationship with Katie. He renewed his vow to be more thoughtful and considerate.

“Eat up, kiddo.” Jack put a plate in front of the teen, hesitating before leaning down to plant a quick kiss on the top of the blond head. “You know I love you, right? More than anything?” Mac had given his blessing for Jack to propose, but if he ever had second thoughts, Jack would break off the engagement in a heartbeat. It would kill him to do so, but nothing was more important than Mac, and Diane had already said the same about Riley.

“Mm-hm.” The warm melty sandwich smelled fantastic, and Mac picked it up eagerly, dropping it again when it was a bit too hot. “Ow. Yeah.” He glanced up to give his dad a smile. “Completely.”

Jack relaxed, dropping into the chair opposite his son. “Forever.”

“No matter what,” Mac finished absently, poking at the grilled-cheese again and finding he could at least touch it now. Regardless of how many times Jack made this same promise, it was still nice to know that even if Mac messed things up with Katie, Jack would still be there for him.

“Yeah.” Jack took a bite of his own sandwich. If Mac knew how much his dad loved him, things would have to be okay. Mac would know that even when it was embarrassing to bring up, Jack would listen to him, would try to make things better.

He was glad he and Mac understood each other so well.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A "backstage" interlude on the day of Jack and Diane's wedding. Jack and Mac discuss relationships, family, and dancing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enormous thanks to just_another_outcast and bkworm4life4 for suggesting a follow up to the first chapter! The misunderstanding is not fully revealed, but I hope you enjoy this attempt at further humorous fluff anyway.

“Here, I’ll help.”

Jack obligingly held out his arm so Mac could help him secure the new cufflinks. Mac’s matching set—a pre-wedding present from Diane and Riley—were already gleaming on his wrists.

“Thanks.” Jack watched his son’s intense expression of concentration with something bursting in his heart that he had long ago learned was the most love it was possible for a person to feel. “Good work, kid.”

When Mac finished and took a step away, Jack ruffled his hair playfully.

“Hey!” Mac yelped, desperately trying to comb his wayward locks back into some semblance of formality. “I just got it to lay down!”

Jack chuckled, barely containing the enormous guffaw that wanted to bust out. All day long he’d been whistling and singing and bursting into laughter for no reason. “Well, can’t have the best man lookin’ better than the groom, right?” He lifted a hand but Mac ducked away, still wrestling with his fluffy hair, and Jack tweaked his tie instead. “After all, that’s the logic behind those hideous bridesmaids’ dresses, ain’t it?”

Mac took another step until he was out of arm’s reach, huffing in frustration as he tucked his tie back into its proper place. “Diane picked out nice dresses. That’s what Riley said.”

“Yeah, well, I guess since the princess had to wear one, she probably woulda mutinied if it’d been one of them Bride of Frankenstein ones you usually see.”

Mac lifted an eyebrow.

“Speaking of which, you remind Bozer he gets _one_ slow dance, all right? One. Uno. Less than two.”

“Jack…”

“And his hands better be where we can see ‘em at all times.”

“Jack!”

Jack grinned at his blushing son. “And as for you…you mind what I told you about young ladies when you’re out there with Katie, got it?”

Mac opened his mouth, but Jack kept talking.

“Your first dance as a couple,” Jack sighed dramatically. “We’ll get plenty of pictures, son, don’t you worry. You remember that you owe Diane a dance too, though, all right?”

“I remember, Jack,” Mac acknowledged. Diane had been kind enough to offer some instruction the past few weeks, which made the teen feel just a little less worried about asking Katie to dance.

“Hey.” Mac found himself crushed against his dad’s chest, Jack apparently not worrying about wrinkles. “You nervous?”

Mac shook his head. “Not—not really. Katie said she’s been looking forward to today.”

“Yeah? That’s good. And she’ll see you standin’ up at the front durin’ the ceremony, lookin’ all handsome, so that’ll get her revved up for you.”

“Jack!” Mac blushed again.

“We need to practice the big hand-off again?”

“Jack.” Mac rolled his eyes. “We already practiced six times. There are only so many ways to hand a person a ring.”

“Well, I don’t know how many ways there are, but the one way we _don’t_ want is the one where you drop it.” Actually, Jack didn’t much care as long as the ring eventually ended up on the finger of his bride. In fact, it’d be kind of funny to chase down an errant piece of jewelry. He silently congratulated the choice he and Mac had made to gift Diane and Riley with similar necklaces before the wedding, jewelry that clasped and thus was harder to lose.

However, Jack knew Mac would be embarrassed if he made any errors in his best-man duties, so he poked his son’s side.

“Let’s try one more time for luck.”

This completed after much eye-rolling, Jack turned back to the mirror, fussing with his already immaculate tie.

“You’ll need to save a dance for Nana too, yeah?” he reminded his son absently.

“So will you. She told me to remind you that you can ask Riley first if you want, but she better be at least your third dance, or she won’t save you any of the brownies she’s going to make.”

Jack gasped in completely genuine horror. “But you’d hide some away for your old man, right, bud?”

Mac blinked at him innocently. “You said never to cross Nana Bea. We’ll have to do what she says.”

“Fine, fine,” Jack grumbled. “She’s gonna spoil you kids rotten, I just know it.”

“It’s only for a few days, Jack.”

“Yeah.” Jack studied his son affectionately. “And at least you and Ri don’t have to worry about, uh, hearin’ anything you shouldn’t.” Jack hadn’t forgotten the time Mac had overheard Jack and Diane spending some…_quality time_ together.

The tips of Mac’s ears flushed bright red. He wished Jack would stop insinuating that Mac might listen to his dad and his new stepmom.

“And you’ll have fun with Nana. She’s been talkin’ for weeks about gettin’ to spend some time with you and Ri. You be good for her, you hear me?”

“She says nothing I do can compare to some of the stuff you pulled when you were my age,” Mac returned smugly. “She promised to tell us stories while you’re gone.”

Jack thought about having a word with his mom before he and Diane left on their honeymoon, but he didn’t really want to get on Bea Dalton’s bad side either.

“Well, you just remember to do what I say and not what I did,” Jack finally said. “Including remembering your date. You got at least three dances on your card already, but other than that, you make sure your girl knows she’s your only priority, got it?”

Mac’s nose wrinkled. “What do you mean _three_?” He looked askance at his dad. “I don’t want to dance with Riley. And she doesn’t want to dance with me.” The almost-siblings had discussed it briefly, both immediately agreeing that they had no desire to dance with each other. Mac was eager to get back to Katie, and while Riley didn’t say as much, Mac knew she would say yes if Bozer asked her to the dance floor.

“Calm down, kiddo. I ain’t gonna make you dance with your sister.” Jack relished the sound of those words. Mac had a sister. He had a daughter. He shook himself with a laugh. “Might be kinda cute, though. Diane might like some pictures—”

“No,” Mac broke in firmly. “The answer is no.”

“You just make sure not to mess up Nana’s brownies, and I’ll let you off on this one.”

“She said I could help by licking the bowl.”

Jack muttered something under his breath about his momma playing favorites and preferential treatment.

“Fine. Then just three dances, and you’re free to spend the rest of your time with Katie if you want. Make sure you take breaks and drink plenty, and check with her before each song. Don’t assume she wants to keep goin’. Those heels women wear look great, but they can be murder on the feet. And get her plenty to drink too. Need to stay hydrated.” Jack fixed his son with a stern look. “I don’t need to say anything about staying away from alcohol, right?”

Mac waved away this non-concern. “Why do you keep saying _three_ dances?”

Jack blinked. “What do you mean? Me and Diane’ll have the first dance, and then it’ll be you and her and me and Ri. Then I gotta take a turn with your Nana, so you’ll have to wait on that one. She’ll find you.”

“That’s only two.”

“Well, what, you think I forgot about you?”

It was several seconds before the implication sunk in. “You want me to dance with _you_?” Mac finally squeaked.

“Of course! Gotta have a father-son dance.”

“That’s…not a thing.”

“Well, it should be. Diane said she gets a mother-daughter dance.”

Mac groaned. “What do you want?”

“Huh?”

“Just go ahead and tell me. What do I have to do to make you forget about this? You want video of Nana making brownies with us? You want us to hang up the family portrait in the living room? You—”

“Whoa, whoa.” Jack held up a hand. “I mean, yes to all of that. But what’s so bad about wanting a dance with my son?”

“Um…I’m not under ten?”

“So? We can do ‘Thriller’.”

“Jack.”

“‘Push It’?”

“Jack—”

“Oh! ‘We Are Family’!”

“_Jack_—”

“How about ‘Stayin’ Alive’? You love that one!”

“No, I said our health teacher was talking about the correct timing for CPR, and—”

“I got it! We’ll do ‘Happy’! After all, you’re like my own little Minion.”

Mac wanted to beat his head against the wall.

“Hey.” Jack’s voice gentled. “I won’t keep you away from your date too long, all right? Just one song. Katie’ll appreciate your willingness to make the bride and groom happy, right?”

She probably would, Mac realized upon consideration. Katie liked it when he was thoughtful and put others’ needs first, even if she said he took that to extremes sometimes.

Mac dropped his head, knowing he’d lost this round. “Fine,” he agreed grudgingly.

“Doesn’t hurt to show off your moves either.” Jack winked and nudged his son. “She’ll be impressed, just you wait and see.”

As much as he hated to admit it, Jack’s advice had not steered him wrong with Katie yet. He huffed out a laugh.

“Whatcha thinkin’ there, hoss?”

“I was just thinking…you remember when I thought Katie was breaking up with me?”

Jack’s jaw dropped open. “What?”

Mac frowned. “You remember. You—you said you’d seen it coming because I wasn’t paying enough attention to her, and you said I needed to—you know—be more attentive. Basically.”

Jack kept staring as though the teen had turned into a short pill-shaped yellow creature that couldn’t form intelligible words. “_What_?”

Mac scowled harder. Had Jack seriously forgotten? Or was he just messing around? “Cut it out, Jack. I’ve been listening to her. I pay attention to what she likes, okay?”

“That’s…good? But, son, if you were havin’ problems with your girlfriend, why wouldn’t you tell me? You know you can talk to me about—”

“I did!” Mac protested. “I can’t believe you don’t remember, but I did tell you. You offered to get me a white-noise machine to help me sleep.”

Jack’s eyes bugged out so far they nearly hit the wall. He remembered _that_ conversation, all right. But that had been about him and Diane. Hadn’t it?

“So…you were talkin’ about some issues with Katie, and I said I’d get you a white-noise machine,” he tried to clarify.

“Yeah.” Mac frowned. “Do you remember now?”

“And that’s, uh, all we talked about that night?”

“Yeah. What else did you think we talked about?”

“N-no! Nothing! That—yep, that was it. I remember now. Not paying attention to Katie. It’s all comin’ back. Uh-huh. Wow, glad we got that one solved, huh? Y’all are stronger than ever now, yeah?”

Mac gave him an odd look. “Are you okay?”

“Totally! Definitely okay. Super okay. Just, um…maybe pre-wedding jitters, you know? Actually, could you go rustle up some water for your old man? Don’t wanna get parched before sayin’ my lines.”

Mac continued to eye his dad suspiciously, but he agreeably went in search of a drink. As soon as he was gone, Jack collapsed in a chair and dissolved into laughter. He’d had the wrong end of the stick this whole time. He’d been so worried about Mac overhearing them…

Tears streamed down his face as he laughed even harder. He couldn’t wait to tell Diane. He’d better keep this tidbit to himself until after the reception, or his bride wouldn’t be happy about ruining her makeup with tears of laughter.

“Jack? Are you okay?”

Jack wiped his eyes and struggled to control himself at his son’s worried tone. “J-just fine, buddy,” he said shakily, reaching for the water.

“Really?” Mac’s expression softened. “Are you nervous?”

Jack melted, smiling fondly at his best man, who was also the best son he could ever ask for.

“Nah, not nervous,” he said gently. “I’m excited. Can’t wait to start the rest of our lives with our whole family. You?”

Mac caught his dad’s hand and helped pull him up out of the chair. “Yeah.” He took a deep breath and smiled back. “I can’t wait either.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [**Thriller**](https://youtu.be/4V90AmXnguw) by Michael Jackson  
[**Push It**](https://youtu.be/vCadcBR95oU) by Salt-N-Pepa  
[**We Are Family**](https://youtu.be/uyGY2NfYpeE) by Sister Sledge  
[**Stayin' Alive**](https://youtu.be/iXcsHoQMGqc) featuring Ken Jeong and Hands-Only CPR  
[**Happy**](https://youtu.be/MOWDb2TBYDg) featuring Minions


End file.
